This morning, I walked into the bathroom of my little cottage, and saw that Bob the spider had returned after three days of wandering in the wilderness. I spoke to him sharply, explaining that this is my tub, and he should consider setting up shop somewhere else; but he seemed unimpressed, and merely paced back and forth in the tub as if marking his territory. I continued talking smack to him, all the while keeping an eagle eye on his location. I’m pretty tough as long as I know exactly where the spider is, and there is therefore no chance of a surprise appearance, say on my arm. I identified the coffee cup and an old greeting card that I would use for the rewilding, just as soon as I finished my meditation and box breathing.

Meanwhile, my intrepid sister Laura came over for our walk to the river, and I advised her of the latest development. She went to look.

“This isn’t Bob,” she said. “Bob is much bigger than this spider. This spider’s legs are really very slender.”

“Hmmm,” I said. “Maybe, maybe, since, as you say, the lady spiders are usually bigger, this actually is Bob, while the first spider was, in fact, Mrs. Bob.”

Either way, Laura took the situation in hand. She fetched a cup and a likely chunk of cardboard, and went into the bathroom, where I could hear her speaking firmly yet kindly to Bob/Mrs. Bob. After she coaxed Bob into the cup, she calmly took him outside and flung him out the front door. He Ianded in the same spot as his counterpart had before and disappeared just as quickly. I imagine I will be seeing one or the other these enterprising spiders in just a few days; if my theory is correct, it is Mrs. Bob’s turn.