I am waiting in the chair for the dentist to come pull a tooth; this is my first such experience since all four wisdom teeth at age nineteen. At nineteen I was pretty much awed by medical people in general, and I willingly accepted the basic inequity of “Dr. Jones,” and “Evelyn” as mutual forms of address. Fast forward to forty, fifty, fifty-five. . .and having these young guys come in and say brightly, “Hi, Evelyn, I’m Dr. Jones,” has started to get old. Imagine my surprise with a few recent experiences: the new doctor in town comes in and says, “Hello, Ms. Willburn. I’m Dr. Jones.” That dentist who is going to pull my tooth comes in wearing crocs and says, “Hello, Evelyn, I’m Jim.” On both occasions I was surprised enough to be briefly tongue tied. I quickly recovered each time and tried to impart the idea that I appreciated being treated as an equal.

                In my work life as an educator for close to thirty years, I have taken a somewhat different path in my journey of mutually respectful address. In the early days I wore skirts and blouses and the children addressed me as “Mrs. Willburn.” When I transferred to a small rural school in about career year 18, the kids wanted to call me “Evelyn.” I offered a compromise: they could call me “Miss Evelyn.” (I enjoyed the hark-back to my early days in rural Virginia, when I referred to all the elderly ladies as “Miss Jean,” or “Miss Mae”). Anyway, for the next three years I engaged in a sort of cold war. The kids would forget the “Miss” part, and I would insist that they add it before we could continue the conversation. It was tiresome but I was not ready to relent.

              And how about now? I work part time as an education consultant and coach, and when I visit the schools the kids can call me anything they want except late for dinner, as my Dad used to say. I am now “Evelyn” to staff and students alike, and I would not have it any other way. There is for me a certain freedom in letting that one go. But now, as an Ed.D. student, I have a new conundrum. I wonder what should people call me when I finish the degree? I think in professional situations I will sign my name to include my credentials but be unconcerned about how people address me directly. Except the medical guys; there it’s going to be even-steven. And my kids. They get to call me Dr. Mom.