Weren’t we all taught in elementary school that there are three states of matter, solid, liquid and gas? It’s a nice neat concept for an elementary science lesson. You can demonstrate with a block of wood, a bottle of water, and a balloon. But along comes “plasma” to muck up the equation. First of all, the name is weird. Why call it something that is already in use? Blood plasma and lightning-plasma are two entirely different things. I recently asked a gifted fifth grader if he knew the fourth state of matter. He promptly responded “plasma.” Encouraged, I asked him where you might find plasma in our world. He shrugged and replied, “maybe in your blood.” Hmmm.

I think I finally understand what plasma (the lightning variety) actually is. Here goes: a gas is when the molecules of a substance separate so much that the substance expands to fill whatever shape and size container it finds itself in. At first, I wondered how you could separate matter more thoroughly than that. Then I read some more about lightning and learned that the atoms themselves split temporarily, and those weird and wacky electrons run all over creation and do whatever they want. I cringe a bit when I recall as a child sneaking outside in the lead-up to a thunderstorm, and dancing like a pagan all over the back pasture, thereby making myself the tallest item for a hundred yards in every direction. Why didn’t I get zapped?

Recently my husband showed me a “plasma cutter,” which apparently shoots beams of electrons at whatever it is placed in contact with, and cuts through metal without a hitch. I couldn’t stop staring at it, feeling a sympathetic burn through my arms and hands as my brain kept turning, like a tongue in a broken tooth, to the thought of this thing passing its lethal beams across my flesh. I imagine, however, that like a nail gun it has built-in safety mechanisms. But what if it becomes sentient, and goes on a rampage? Don’t laugh. The scientists insist that an electron can be in two places at once, and anything that can do that has to be smart. So put your lightning gun away, thank you very much.

And I might actually have this plasma stuff running around inside my TV! Thor’s hammer in my living room! I can’t help wondering how it feels about living in a cage.