In recent years I have suffered mildly from a scratchy throat, and a feeling of recurring glumpiness that comes with any attempt to swallow. This bit of health-related aggravation is known in medical circles as a “globus sensation,” and apparently there is nothing whatever to be done about it except to avoid certain foods and […]
Category: Musings about Language and Life
My version of “what’s it all about anyway?”
Apple tree, apple tree
Apples are the canines of the fruits-and-veggies world. Bear with me while I sort this out. For the sake of argument, I am assuming that wolves were the first canines, and the domestication thing started when one of these wolves crept in from the cold, tacitly agreeing to help out in exchange for room and […]
How do you spell woodna?
That’s the question the second grader asked me. I paused, scratched my metaphorical head, and asked her to use it in a sentence. “You know,” she said. “Like, I woodna done that if youda said not to.” I of course seized the teachable moment and explained that woodna was really two words if you didn’t […]
Adventures in the grocery store
On a recent trip to the store, I demonstrated personal growth by going back to get a cart. Our grocery store is a two-minute drive (or a ten-minute walk) from my house, so I go there frequently to just get a few things. Maybe it’s because I go there so often, combined my natural tendency […]
Of fireweed and Albus Dumbledore
During my recent dental visit, the hygienist expressed concern about one of my teeth but indicated that it did not pose an urgent problem. “My guess is it will last you another forty years,” she said with a smile. Without much conscious thought on the subject, I replied, “I don’t imagine I’ll be needing it […]
All pets go to heaven
My niece Helen was quite young when one of her family’s beloved cats died. When her mother, my sister Laura, tried to explain what had happened, Helen became very thoughtful and said, “he must be licking butter off Jesus’ table.” What a heart-squeezingly beautiful image this comment conjures up. More recently, someone suggested to me […]
Some people’s kids
I don’t have to stick my head very far out my door, or very deep into cyberspace, to hear something about today’s generation of kids. The gist of the argument is that kids these days are whiny, spoiled little milquetoasts, whose parents have failed in their sacred duty of toughening them up. I hear things […]
Living off the fat of the land
I tend to feel just a little bit smug when I pick berries, especially now that I am being so all-fired mindful about it. At this time of the season—late July—huckleberries and blueberries are out in force, and the thimbleberries are not far behind. A friend shared a genius life-berry hack, in which you clean […]
Miniature horse verses pony
I know I spelled “versus” wrong, but bear with me. This deliberate misspelling comes from how I used to laugh when my kids and others would start up a video game and one would say to the other something like this: “Here’s where Sonic has to verse Knuckles.” Anyway, what’s all this about miniature horses? […]
In which I mindfully don my painting clothes
I use “don” in the sense of “don we now our gay apparel” in which “don” means put on (clothing, etc) and “gay” means “festive.” “Don” is a perfectly fine word. It only had one job, and it did it well. Why our living language chose to drop it and replace it with the rightfully […]