Apple tree, apple tree

Apples are the canines of the fruits-and-veggies world. Bear with me while I sort this out. For the sake of argument, I am assuming that wolves were the first canines, and the domestication thing started when one of these wolves crept in from the cold, tacitly agreeing to help out in exchange for room and […]

Attack of the herbivores

There are many, many things about the film Jurassic Park that I can get irritated about, and even more in the sequels, but one that stands head and shoulders above the rest is the bit about the veggie-saurus. Here they are, stranded in a tree, and this five-million-ton critter is blowing snot all over them, […]

How do you spell woodna?

That’s the question the second grader asked me. I paused, scratched my metaphorical head, and asked her to use it in a sentence. “You know,” she said. “Like, I woodna done that if youda said not to.” I of course seized the teachable moment and explained that woodna was really two words if you didn’t […]

Adventures in the grocery store

On a recent trip to the store, I demonstrated personal growth by going back to get a cart. Our grocery store is a two-minute drive (or a ten-minute walk) from my house, so I go there frequently to just get a few things. Maybe it’s because I go there so often, combined my natural tendency […]