Watermelons are idiots

If ever there was a plant to “take a notion,” as the old folks in my family used to say, it’s a watermelon. In exploring this issue, allow me to present two modest case studies: Exhibit A: During my most recent teaching gig, a third grader came back to class after lunch with a single […]

The lemon pies and the dusting

Whenever I iron an item of clothing, which is exactly and only when I feel like it, I think about Cookie. No, not cookies. I think of a girl from my high school class who was nicknamed Cookie and who became a homecoming princess in our senior year.  One time before class started, I was […]

Rhubarb, the other carnivorous plant

Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned meat-juice IV? Take my little back yard rhubarb patch, for instance. This often-misunderstood plant, with its poisonous leaves and delicious stalks, is a straight-up carnivore. To keep the plants happy, we learned to bury fish and crab carcasses close beside them; they would gobble that stuff up by the […]

A-gardening we will go

Recently I started growing lettuce in window boxes. Now, of course I could put together a garden box or a greenhouse, or both, and grow my lettuce that way. But here’s the thing. I am too lazy to go outside to pick my lettuce. Actually, I am trying to set things up so that I […]