A family of Chia pets

See? This is what happens when I a) really need a haircut and b) go to bed with wet hair. Blame it on my mother. She had, in her own words, hair like a horse’s tail. It was thick, coarse, and if she stopped paying attention for a short period of time, it would grow […]

To wave or not to wave

Being polite, walking that shifting line that is somewhere between standoffish and slightly weird, is a tricky business. When I was a teenager, I worked at the local gas station/convenience store for a while. My co-worker Rosetta often entertained the rest of us with stories. One time she told us about her nephew Shelley, who […]

The elephant in the pantry

One summer afternoon, circa 1973, my childhood friend Alice came over to visit. Nobody else was around, and we got bored. We rummaged around in some desk drawers and closets, looking for something interesting to do. We eventually came across some boxes of acrylic paint and brushes. So far so good. However, we didn’t have […]

Panther’s Corner

It is easy to forget that horses are prey animals, since they regularly allow dangerous mammals to scramble onto their backs and start giving orders. Side note: I recently saw a meme of a horse with forward-facing, predator eyes, and the vision was unsettling in the extreme. But the equine family never entirely forgets its […]

Snack time

When I was a kid my mother claimed that she could track me around the house by following the discarded cheese wrappers. In those days we classified cheese into two broad categories: mouse cheese (Kraft American cheese, in individually wrapped slices) and rat cheese (cheddar). It was mouse cheese that was my weakness and my […]