I spend a fair amount of time worrying that somebody is going to steal my stuff. This feeling is especially keen when I am passing through airport security. I always have everything but the kitchen sink in my carryon luggage, and have to utilize five or six of those plastic tubs to spread everything out […]
Category: Musings about Language and Life
My version of “what’s it all about anyway?”
Split ends and other beauty-related foolishness
My sister Laura reminded me recently about the “split ends” phenomenon of our youth. As she said, the shampoo and conditioner companies made millions by convincing insecure teenager girls that their hair, if not properly cared for using their products, would develop split ends. Somehow, the magic elixir that was their conditioner would knit these […]
A family of Chia pets (illustrated version)
Who among us has not gone to bed with wet hair? First, the evening shower, and the washing, conditioning, and combing of the magnificent mane: And then, the horror of the next morning: I don’t know about you, but this happens to me on a regular basis. Is this why people used to wear night […]
Greased pig (the musical version)
Although I haven’t read any primary sources on the topic, I imagine the term “greased pig” to be a holdover from the old days of the state fair. Officials would choose a likely young pig, smear it all over with something akin to bacon grease (hah! Very meta, don’t you think?) and turn it loose […]
A family of Chia pets
See? This is what happens when I a) really need a haircut and b) go to bed with wet hair. Blame it on my mother. She had, in her own words, hair like a horse’s tail. It was thick, coarse, and if she stopped paying attention for a short period of time, it would grow […]
In praise of needlework
When I was in my early teens, my mother made or got hold of a white tablecloth that was covered all over with iron-on patterns of flowers and vegetables. It was big enough that the four of us (my mother, my sisters, and me) could each take a corner to work on simultaneously. I learned […]
Dress code
When I was in elementary school, the girls wore dresses to school, because dresses were the proper attire for young ladies. I feel obliged to point out that the “young ladies” of my generation also liked to hang upside down on the monkey bars. Sometimes, Powhatan winters get very cold. If the temperature got down […]
Of kelp farms and volcano snails
There is a saying in Latin that reads “Non nova sed novae.” When I came across this saying, I put my three years of high school Latin* to work in an effort to translate it. I came up with “Nothing new but news.” I couldn’t quite capture the essence of it, so I asked a […]
A plant for all seasons
This little cutie-pie is what we used to call a Christmas cactus. The flowers are lovely, and it doesn’t have a sharp edge anywhere. We had one of these when I was growing up. As the name implies, it was supposed to bloom at Christmas, but ours preferred the springtime. We took to laughingly calling […]
I love Latin class!
I took three years (yes, three) of Latin in high school. For the first year we studied lots of vocabulary, conjugated verbs and declined nouns. I don’t know if “declined” is the right word (it probably isn’t), but I use it because Latin nouns have inflected endings just like the verbs. Verbs belong to different […]