Dammit, Bob!

This morning, I walked into the bathroom of my little cottage, and saw that Bob the spider had returned after three days of wandering in the wilderness. I spoke to him sharply, explaining that this is my tub, and he should consider setting up shop somewhere else; but he seemed unimpressed, and merely paced back […]

Apple tree, apple tree

Apples are the canines of the fruits-and-veggies world. Bear with me while I sort this out. For the sake of argument, I am assuming that wolves were the first canines, and the domestication thing started when one of these wolves crept in from the cold, tacitly agreeing to help out in exchange for room and […]

Attack of the herbivores

There are many, many things about the film Jurassic Park that I can get irritated about, and even more in the sequels, but one that stands head and shoulders above the rest is the bit about the veggie-saurus. Here they are, stranded in a tree, and this five-million-ton critter is blowing snot all over them, […]