{"id":955,"date":"2022-02-06T11:41:16","date_gmt":"2022-02-06T20:41:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/?p=955"},"modified":"2022-02-06T11:41:16","modified_gmt":"2022-02-06T20:41:16","slug":"the-evolution-of-bacon-and-eggs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/?p=955","title":{"rendered":"The evolution of bacon and eggs"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you. . .microwave bacon! Like so many other things, this concept came to me due to a happy accident. Here\u2019s the scene: having found myself home alone for two weeks, on the first morning I set out to fix myself some bacon and eggs. No sooner had I fired up the burner then it sputtered and died: out of propane. Now, please understand, there are two propane tanks outside my house, and the second one was still full; all that was needed was some complex movements with some sophisticated tools\u2014a process I had stubbornly refused to learn because I didn\u2019t want to ever be the one who had to do it. I began sadly to put away the bacon and consider a bowl of cold cereal when I noticed the microwave. I looked from the package of bacon to the microwave, and back again, not unlike a cave person who is finally<\/em> making the connection between dry twigs and the sparks that sometimes fly during her flint carving sessions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I am here to tell you, bacon cooked in the microwave is delicious and crispy and takes all of two minutes. What is not <\/em>involved in cooking bacon in the microwave is the tiny white-hot needles of grease striking my skin, or the huge quantity of artery-killing viscosity that must be later scraped out of the pan and somehow disposed of with clogging the sink drain or attracting bears. Side note: am I now ingesting <\/em>all that extra grease? Who cares?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyhoo, bacon in the microwave takes two minutes instead of twenty, I don\u2019t get burned, I don\u2019t have to keep turning it over obsessively, I don\u2019t need to place a large cast iron object on it to make sure it cooks evenly, and my multiple glass jars of bacon grease that I keep on my counter for months at a time are gradually giving way to a couple of paper towels that go straight into the garbage can. And by the way, microwave scrambled eggs are also to die for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, is this cheating? If I do not suffer for my art, is it still art? I am reminded of the words of an old friend, a Tsimshian carver with a dry sense of humor. One day my husband and I were visiting him in his carving shed while he started roughing out a totem pole using a chainsaw. He must have noticed my thoughtful expression because he adopted a serious look and asked, \u201cDo you know why my grandfather didn\u2019t use a chainsaw when he was carving?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo,\u201d I answered. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t your grandfather use a chainsaw when he was carving?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our friend grinned and replied, \u201cbecause he didn\u2019t have one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*******************************************************<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For your further edification:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Microwave Scrambled Eggs & Bacon| How to make breakfast recipe | Student – YouTube<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tsimshian – New World Encyclopedia<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you. . .microwave bacon! Like so many other things, this concept came to me due to a happy accident. Here\u2019s the scene: having found myself home alone for two weeks, on the first morning I set out to fix myself some bacon and eggs. No sooner had I fired up […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[417],"class_list":["post-955","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings-about-language-and-life","tag-microwave-bacon"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/955","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=955"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/955\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":956,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/955\/revisions\/956"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=955"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=955"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=955"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}