When I first heard the term \u201cBasketball Jones,\u201d* I figured it could mean one of two things: either it was a fanciful name for a guy who likes to play, or it was a descriptive phrase for a great yearning to play basketball around the clock. Since I didn\u2019t know which, I took the only reasonable action: I asked a fourth grader. He assured me that the correct definition of the term was the latter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I experienced my first basketball jones as an eighth grader, when my very athletic cousin Mary talked me into trying out. I wasn\u2019t in very good shape, so during the tryouts I just ran around panting and nobody really passed me the ball. The coach, a young woman with blue eyeshadow and many dangly bracelets, did not call my name after the tryout scrimmage was finished. The next day she called me up during science class and, having obviously had some time to feel bad for me, offered me the opportunity to join the team. I played my heart out in every game, and thus improved my physical condition by a large margin, although nobody really passed me the ball and I consequently never scored a point for the entire season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next time I touched a basketball was to work up a skit with my sister Laura, my cousin Mary, and my shirt-tail** cousin Jean in which we impersonated the Harlem Globetrotters. The purpose of this activity was for some kind of talent show, of which I can recall no other details whatsoever. We called ourselves the Powhatan Droptrotters, and the PA played \u201cSweet Georgia Brown\u201d while we ran around missing many of the shots that had worked so well in practice. Or maybe that was just me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Enter a long dry spell. I was too shy to pursue basketball in high school, and my athletic activities trended toward tennis, ping pong and riding a nut-bar horse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t actually pick up a basketball again until I was a teacher and was obliged to \u201cteach\u201d P.E. Often when we played team sports, I was called upon to step in and even up the sides. We also played \u201cHorse,\u201d and many years later, while doing some long-term subbing after my second retirement, I learned to play \u201cBump.\u201d I\u2019ve actually got some moves, if you\u2019ll just chill out and give me some space to plan my strategy. There\u2019s a dollop of the feel-good hormone every time one makes a \u201cnothin\u2019 but net\u201d shot, also known as a \u201cswish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My most recent experience with basketball came during my year at Twin Hills, Alaska as principal\/teacher, on the eve of my third retirement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Out of an instructional staff of six, I was the only teacher (mind you I was the next-to-the-oldest) who would regularly play with the two high school girls. We played Horse a lot, and sometimes the custodian (who doubled as a classroom aide) could be convinced to join us and we would play two-on-two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m sure the ladies who refused to play were just too shy, the way I used to be.\u00a0I am also sure that there\u2019s a Basketball Jones in all of us, and all he is waiting for is an invitation to come out and play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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For your further edification:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
*\u201cBasketball Jones\u201d comes to us in the form of a song in the movie \u201cSpace Jam,\u201d starring Michael Jordan, Wayne Knight and the Warner Brothers Toon Squad. Good movie!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
**A shirt-tail cousin is a distant relative or one related by marriage. Jean is my cousin because my great-uncle married her great-aunt. Probably nobody cares about this tidbit. But I can also expound at some length at what it means to be once, twice, or three times \u201cremoved\u201d from one of your cousins. Anybody? Anybody?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Original Harlem Globetrotters | Harlem Globetrotters<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sweet Georgia Brown – Wikipedia<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Listen to \u201cSweet Georgia Brown\u201d: Bing Videos<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n How to Play Horse (the Basketball Game): 11 Steps (with Pictures)<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n