{"id":1585,"date":"2024-11-25T21:56:45","date_gmt":"2024-11-26T06:56:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/?p=1585"},"modified":"2024-11-26T10:31:49","modified_gmt":"2024-11-26T19:31:49","slug":"abner-snopes-feline-gentleman-and-famous-namesake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/?p=1585","title":{"rendered":"Abner Snopes, Feline Gentleman and Famous Namesake"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My cat is well named, just as any self-respecting cat should be. First let us explore the origin of his original name. Abner Snopes was a character in a dreadful story* that, to this day, I remain proud of having been forced to read in high school. The original Abner set fire to some barns and smeared cow poop on the boss man\u2019s lime green rug, if memory serves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I digress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The feline Abner\u2019s name has evolved, as cat names are wont to do. \u201cAbner\u201d quickly gave rise to two derivatives: Abernathy and Abilene. \u201cAbernathy\u201d has at this point remained at a full stop, but \u201cAbilene\u201d has started a meander down that delightful rabbit hole of feline nomenclature. Two wit: \u201cAbilene\u201d becomes \u201cAbilene, Kansas,\u201d which migrates into \u201cKansas City,\u201d and sometimes even \u201cCity Boy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obligatory aside: Sometimes I also call him \u201cFourteen Point Six,\u201d since that is what his long lean body weighed last time I checked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am obviously pleased with the way Abner\u2019s name is shaping up. However, I would be remiss not to give a tip of the hat to a true master, and mention two kittens from my childhood who were mostly named by my genius sister Mary, with able assistance from her trusty sidekick, my sister Laura**:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kitten A: Algernon Rebecca Driftwood Bacon-bits Shoe Polish<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kitten B: Sad Sack Disfear Dube Peatfire Soup\u2019s On<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t get much more well-named than that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, back to my friend Abner. His personality is also his own. He\u2019s not much of a lap cat, and will allow me to hold him only for short periods of time. If I hold on too long he starts to make a scary sound in his throat. He does, however, love to be close to his humans\u2014but just prefers to do it on his own terms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Younger Son is staying in the apartment across the street from us, and for some reason, Abner loves that place. He spends many nights over there, leaving my husband and me lonely and bereft. But does he care? No! Our working theory is he can still smell Elder Son\u2019s cat, who moved out a year and a half ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, Abner Snopes the Second is a cat who walks where he will. I decided to share his handsome visage with you. To that end, I pored exhaustively through all our photographs of him, and I made a concerted effort to select the most dignified.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

How\u2019d I do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photograph by Brooks Willburn)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***************************<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For your further edification:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 * \u201cBarn Burning,\u201d by William Faulkner. First published in Harper\u2019s Magazine in 1939, and appearing in every single upper-level high school literature anthology that has been published from that day to this. You don\u2019t know what you\u2019re missing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

** The names I actually learned from my sister Mary who has had them memorized for about two thirds of a century. So, Mair, am I right? Did Daddy come up with them? (Note my corrections above; it’ll be like I never got it wrong in the first place.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My cat is well named, just as any self-respecting cat should be. First let us explore the origin of his original name. Abner Snopes was a character in a dreadful story* that, to this day, I remain proud of having been forced to read in high school. The original Abner set fire to some barns […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[159],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-powhatan-to-alaska"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1585"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1585\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1589,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1585\/revisions\/1589"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}