{"id":1455,"date":"2023-11-18T07:44:41","date_gmt":"2023-11-18T16:44:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/?p=1455"},"modified":"2023-11-18T07:45:55","modified_gmt":"2023-11-18T16:45:55","slug":"olive-the-other-four-wheeler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/?p=1455","title":{"rendered":"Olive, the other four-wheeler"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I also debated entitling this offering \u201cHelp me, Honda.\u201d Ah, but I do love me a good pop culture reference, loosely disguised as a literary allusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I digress already.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I made the somewhat hare-brained decision to suspend my retirement benefits and come to Twin Hills as \u201cPrincipal\/Teacher,\u201d my first order of business was to purchase a four-wheeler. In some parts of the world, these critters are known as all-terrain vehicles (ATVs), while here in Southwestern Alaska, due to the preponderance of a certain make, they are usually called simply \u201cHondas.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My Honda, lovely girl that she is, I named Olive. My choice reflects her subtly beautiful paint job, which is the finest civilian rendition of \u201cgovernment green\u201d I have yet to see. Almost all the Hondas in Twin Hills are this color, with an occasional red one showing up like a male cardinal among his ladies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have occasionally pondered the emergence of the term \u201cfour-wheeler.\u201d What an odd way to differentiate this craft from other modes of transportation. Do not most personal-use, gasoline-engine vehicles have four wheels? Of course, there are motorcycles and eighteen-wheelers out there, but still, four seems to be the norm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I remember an earlier iteration of the all-terrain vehicle that had three wheels, sort of like a giant, over-powered tricycle, that you don\u2019t see much anymore. I recall news articles and consumer reports decrying these vehicles as highly likely to flip over if the driver were to execute too sharp a turn. I can picture this conversation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cMom, Dad, I have decided to purchase an all-terrain vehicle for recreational and transportation purposes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My parents: \u201cSurely, you don\u2019t plan to be zipping around on one of those crazy three-wheeled things! You could die gruesomely in a rollover accident.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cOh no. I\u2019m going to get me one of those four-wheelers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which, at the tender age of sixty-three, is exactly what I have done. And I do love my girl Olive! I have become addicted to the fresh air, moderate exercise, and \u201cgetting-away-from-it-all\u201d vibe that she offers. Not to mention that she takes me out to look at stuff like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What’s not to like? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I also debated entitling this offering \u201cHelp me, Honda.\u201d Ah, but I do love me a good pop culture reference, loosely disguised as a literary allusion. But I digress already. When I made the somewhat hare-brained decision to suspend my retirement benefits and come to Twin Hills as \u201cPrincipal\/Teacher,\u201d my first order of business was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[550],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-twin-hills"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1455"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1455\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1460,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1455\/revisions\/1460"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rightasrainonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}